How to Structure Your Priorities With the Spirit Instead of Pressure
- Dave Miller
- 4 days ago
- 7 min read
by Dave Miller
I have five kids, and “Dad wisdom” is a big deal to me. Every day I send them short reminders that usually earn eye rolls or a shrug. But when life hits, the same messages they once ignored suddenly matter. Then all of a sudden what was annoying and background noise becomes priority. When they come asking for advice, I remind them of Dad Wisdom #19: You will listen to someone, so listen to the one who speaks truth. And #5: If God says it, it will happen.
We repeat these enough to have twenty-one of them printed and hanging on our wall. A young adult in our network turned them into artwork for a Father’s Day gift a few years back. I knew then, Dad Wisdom #11 (which I took from Chuck Wood): There are three ways to learn: repetition, blunt force trauma, and repetitive blunt force trauma, really is working.
One of the most important lines we repeat is #10: Do not live someone else’s life. It is not yours.
So who are you listening to?
So now the paradox, in the last article I argued for faith over fear. What you fear is what you focus on.
You are a servant of something because you were built to serve. I know, I know, this message is so counter cultural and radically opposed to everything we hear it must be wrong. I mean, who says that?
That question opens the whole conversation about priorities.
You are not as in control of your priorities as you think. Your priorities don’t start with your ambition or desire. You receive identity before you act. You were designed to receive before you create. What you listen to most shapes who you believe you are, and who you believe you are shapes what you consider important. Identity fuels priority, and identity is fueled by words you listen to.
The Paradox: You Follow What You Fear
In the last article, I argued for building habits that run on faith rather than fear. But beneath that truth sits something deeper:
Whatever you fear, you focus on.
Fear directs your attention.
Fear shapes what you hear.
Fear forms your sense of self.
Fear eventually commands your obedience.
This sounds offensive to modern ears because our culture insists we belong to no one. Yet Scripture refuses to flatter us. Paul states it plainly:
“Don’t you know that if you offer yourselves to someone as obedient slaves, you are slaves of the one you obey, either of sin leading to death or of obedience leading to righteousness?”
Romans 6:16, CSB
And later:
“Since you have been set free from sin and have become enslaved to God, you have your fruit, which results in sanctification, and the outcome is eternal life.”
Romans 6:22, CSB
Paul does not soften his argument. You will serve someone. You will obey someone. You will shape your life around some voice.
So the question remains:Who will you listen to?
Proverbs gives the starting point:
“The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge; fools despise wisdom and discipline.”
Proverbs 1:7, CSB
Fear exists in every human life. You cannot erase fear. You can only relocate it. The fear of the Lord redirects fear away from danger and insecurity and redirects it toward awe, truth, and alignment. The fear of the Lord grounds you in reality instead of anxiety.
Fear of the world crushes.
Fear of the Lord steadies.
When fear of the Lord draws you toward Him, faith grows. Faith reveals the goodness of God. Faith uncovers the trustworthiness of God. Faith exposes the lies fear once used to control you. As faith grows, love grows, and your priorities begin to rearrange around the truth of who God is. You redirect your focus away from all the things you can’t control to the one who controls all things.
Faith Replaces Fear, and Priorities Receive a New Master
When you replace fear with faith, your entire inner structure shifts. The fear of God does not resemble fear of the world. God is good. God is sovereign. God keeps His word. God never deceives. God never manipulates. Fear of God produces wisdom, clarity, and reverence.
Faith changes what you hear.
What you hear shapes your identity.
Identity reshapes your priorities.
This means your priorities shift only when your eyes and ears shift. Truth must fill the space where lies once lived.
Why Priorities Require Volume: You Need a Flood of God’s Words
If you want the Spirit to shape your priorities instead of pressure, you need a flood of God’s words to drown out the flood of the world’s noise.
Repetition forms identity.
Identity forms priorities.
Priorities form action.
This is why God must reveal Himself before you know who you are. God must speak before you act. God must define you before you define your schedule. When He tells you who He is and what He does, He is, as your creator, simultaneously telling you who you are, and what you are called to do. Then and only then, your priorities can finally move in the right direction. Fear of the Lord then makes you a servant of God and as Paul said, “obedience [leads] to righteousness.” Not righteousness as a noun, that is found in Christ alone, but to righteousness as a verb. As in, no longer leading to “wrong-eousness” but your priority is obedience leading to “right-eousness.” And it is of eternal value because “you have been set free from sin and have become enslaved to God, you have your fruit, which results in sanctification, and the outcome is eternal life.”
Your servant identity takes root.
Your ambassador design becomes clear.
Your roll-up-your-sleeves readiness returns.
Your priorities begin to follow the Spirit instead of cultural pressure.
Peter gives us a powerful picture of how this happens.
The Long Arc: How the Spirit Matures Your Priorities
Peter gives a sequential pattern of formation:
2 Peter 1:3–11, ESV
His divine power has granted to us all things that pertain to life and godliness, through the knowledge of him who called us to his own glory and excellence, by which he has granted to us his precious and very great promises, so that through them you may become partakers of the divine nature, having escaped from the corruption in the world because of sinful desire.
For this reason, make every effort to supplement your faith with virtue, and virtue with knowledge, and knowledge with self-control, and self-control with steadfastness, and steadfastness with godliness, and godliness with brotherly affection, and brotherly affection with love.
If these qualities are yours and keep increasing, they keep you from being ineffective or unfruitful in the knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ. Whoever lacks these qualities is so nearsighted that he is blind, having forgotten he was cleansed from his former sins.
Therefore, brothers, be diligent to confirm your calling and election, for if you practice these qualities you will never fall. In this way entrance into the eternal kingdom of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ will be richly provided for you.
Notice the order:
God intends His divine power, so…
God gives knowledge of himself.
God gives promises.
You receive a new nature.
You escape corruption.
You respond with effort.
Your effort produces growth.
Your growth clarifies your calling.
Your calling fortifies your identity.
This sequence reveals the structure of Spirit-shaped priorities:
Truth shapes.
Identity forms.
Effort follows.
Character transforms.
Priorities emerge.
Purpose strengthens.
Fruit grows.
The opposite is also true of fear-shaped priorities:
Lies corrupt.
Deception takes root.
Anxiety triggers.
Anger controls.
Selfishness fights.
Relationships collapse.
Shame imprisons.
Which do you prefer? I am going with Spirit-shaped priorities.
Pressure cannot produce this.
Fear cannot produce this.
Only the Spirit gives this kind of life.
So How Do You Structure Priorities With the Spirit Instead of Pressure?
You begin with listening.
Pressure creates urgency by saying you are falling behind.
Fear creates urgency by saying you are in danger.
Culture creates urgency by saying you are incomplete.
But the Spirit creates clarity by reminding you of who God is, who you are, and what faithfulness requires right now.
Priorities shaped by the Spirit grow from:
God-given identity instead of insecurity.
Truth instead of reaction.
Calling instead of comparison.
Faith instead of fear.
Promise instead of pressure.
The Spirit orders your life around the Kingdom instead of chaos.
The Pattern of a Spirit-Shaped Priority Life
When your identity rests in God, you stop living someone else’s life (Dad Wisdom #10). You stop bending under pressure. You stop letting fear guide your decisions. You stop treating anxiety like a compass.
Instead:
You listen to the Lord first.
You fill your mind daily with His words.
You embrace your ambassador identity.
You take the next faithful step.
You cultivate habits the Spirit grows.
You follow Peter’s path of formation: faith, virtue, knowledge, self-control, steadfastness, godliness, brotherly affection, and love.
You confirm your calling through consistent effort.
You bear fruit that lasts.
As you walk this path, your priorities begin to match your identity. Your actions begin to align with your calling. Your habits begin to echo the character of Christ. Your life begins to reflect the Spirit’s guidance.
Fear had its turn.
Pressure had its turn.
Now the Spirit takes His rightful place.
This is how your priorities finally align with heaven.
Practical Next Steps
Should this article sit well with you, and a desire to form Spirit-led priorities catches your attention, here is a few simple steps to move forward:
Read 20-30 chapters of scripture a week.
You read that right.
That is a 1 year bible reading plan. I recommend the “Read Scripture” app by the Bible Project.
Write down 3-5 areas of your life where you are responsible.
The relationships that require you to do something or it doesn’t get done.
This is your “yes” list
Write down 3-5 habits or activities that disrupt your responsibilities.
This is your “no” list.
Apply what you learn from the scripture to the areas of life for which you are responsible.
How are you thinking different than God?
How are you feeling different from God?
How are you acting and reacting different than God?
Identify where anxiety triggers in your life. Then pick one trigger to replace fear with faith.
Use Question 4 to apply the Spirit and Truth to your anxiety
Pray and petition the Lord. Make your requests known to God so that God’s peace will guard your heart and mind. (Philippians 4:4-7)
Ask specifically for His grace to fill the gap, between your insufficient effort in faith and His purposes, with His strength. (2 Corinthians 12:9-10)
Long obedience in the same direction.
Thank you for going into the mine shaft and preparing some gold for us to pocket.